Night thoughts

3 Mar

The Dawn of Night

I read somewhere once that the time of your birth dictates what time of day you feel most comfortable.  Some people jump up straight from bed ready to take on the world, for some the afternoon is when they feel most awake and then there are some who only truly feel alive when darkness fills the skies.  That last group of folks would be me.  At one point I had a document from the Navy my Dad had saved for me that stated I was born at 2:19 am or something like that.
Let me just say it can be as tough for a night person living in a day-centered world as it is for a lefty in a righty world.  For as long as I can remember the night has felt safer and more familiar.  I have almost cat like night vision and I’ve never feared roaming the dark inside or out of doors.  And sunglasses are pretty much an essential daytime accessory for me.

Roaming a snow filled night

I remember yelling at my loved ones one winter to stop turning on lights.  It was wrecking my night vision as I tracked the stars and constellations with the small telescope I pointed out the enormous south facing window in the converted barn we were living in.  I’ve worked night jobs on a number of occasions but found it difficult as I have little capacity for sleeping during the day.  The only time I can nap in daylight is if I’m ill or drugged up from surgeries or broken bones!
Most of my creativity in the arts happens at night.  Sometimes I can’t go to sleep until what the muses have to say has been painted, written or sung.  I keep a pad of paper and a pen by my bed for when I wake from dreams to scribble down words or images to be used later.  The first beginnings of sleep (alpha stage) is often the most productive because I’m not quite awake or asleep and my thoughts swirl in almost dreams.  The poem below was written after I’d been up all night and dawn was just breaking.  I woke from my alpha sleep and wrote down these words.

In anticipation of dawn

Night Thoughts    Weez  January 1986

Tonight I am high on my thoughts
fast and furious they arrive
I want to be, discover
think and to know

Yes, fly across worlds with words
and weather each pictured passion
realizing all leaps
could pay with a fall

Impulse is the rein, no caution
all things experienced
become in process a song
to be danced, to be felt, to be seen

No regulated view of life from here
basking in the opinions of others
fearful for what it could mean
to stretch imagination as far
as it would go

Those factoried lives churned out
like mass produced products
alike in their parts
alike in their dreams

I want to find excitement
in quiet evenings at home
and quiet within me
when all around me is bustling crowd

A rock, a wind, a mind
and a body
each piece music
to be played, savored and heard

Still high on my thoughts
I wait in anticipation of dawn
gentle in her coming
yet decisive in color and sound

Alone I tremble with choice
I can slumber and not feel
or I can seize these moments
and make them mine

By examining the very fabric of time
I fill up my senses, my mind
Yes, now I can sleep
for though my eyes stay closed
I know, I must stay open to be


2 Responses to “Night thoughts”

  1. Pam M March 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm #

    I guess I must break the mold as I am such a night person and I was boirn at 7:34am! I really enjoy reading yout thoughts!

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